This deployment has giving me a total new outlook on life, marriage and parenting. First, I have found a love for my husband I never knew existed. I love him more today than I did the day I married him. This deployment has made us fall in love all over again but this time by using only the words we have to give and the feeling we share for each other.
Second, My outlook on life has changed. This deployment has giving me a chance to revisit the independent Sara, the one who takes out the trash, walks the dogs, goes to events solo, drive cross country on my own (although that will never happen again !! lol )I have been blesses with a chance to rekindle friendships, I have become more aware of my strengths instead of focusing on my weaknesses. Some days I want to scream or curl up in a ball .. (The days I miss him so much and the dogs need walked but its 30 degrees and raining.. The baby needs a bottle and dinner is burning.. and its 6pm and I still haven't showered) Those are the days I go to bed and know that if I made it through this day then tomorrow will be that much easier.
I don't watch the news when it comes to war like I use to.. all i need to know Stephen will tell me. Honestly if he is safe and I can talk to him then who cares what's going on. I call this the stupid effect... I will stay stupid to the danger for this year.. and every year my husband goes to that god awful place.
At the same time it has reminded me how many people love us and are willing to help our little family when we need it. I thank god everyday for those family and friends.
Third, I have a new found appreciation for single mothers.. how do you do it?!?
I have learned more patience and the importance to put the computer down, shut off the TV and just play. Laugh with my daughter, hold her when she needs me and be a kid myself. It is those special moments where I can watch Sophia learn and grow that I understand just how lucky I am. Those "woe is me moments" are out the window because it is up to me to keep this little girl happy and healthy. It is amazing how a little baby not even a year old can teach me so many life lessons. I just love her!!