This deployment has giving me a total new outlook on life, marriage and parenting. First, I have found a love for my husband I never knew existed. I love him more today than I did the day I married him. This deployment has made us fall in love all over again but this time by using only the words we have to give and the feeling we share for each other.
Second, My outlook on life has changed. This deployment has giving me a chance to revisit the independent Sara, the one who takes out the trash, walks the dogs, goes to events solo, drive cross country on my own (although that will never happen again !! lol )I have been blesses with a chance to rekindle friendships, I have become more aware of my strengths instead of focusing on my weaknesses. Some days I want to scream or curl up in a ball .. (The days I miss him so much and the dogs need walked but its 30 degrees and raining.. The baby needs a bottle and dinner is burning.. and its 6pm and I still haven't showered) Those are the days I go to bed and know that if I made it through this day then tomorrow will be that much easier.
I don't watch the news when it comes to war like I use to.. all i need to know Stephen will tell me. Honestly if he is safe and I can talk to him then who cares what's going on. I call this the stupid effect... I will stay stupid to the danger for this year.. and every year my husband goes to that god awful place.
At the same time it has reminded me how many people love us and are willing to help our little family when we need it. I thank god everyday for those family and friends.
Third, I have a new found appreciation for single mothers.. how do you do it?!?
I have learned more patience and the importance to put the computer down, shut off the TV and just play. Laugh with my daughter, hold her when she needs me and be a kid myself. It is those special moments where I can watch Sophia learn and grow that I understand just how lucky I am. Those "woe is me moments" are out the window because it is up to me to keep this little girl happy and healthy. It is amazing how a little baby not even a year old can teach me so many life lessons. I just love her!!
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Girl, I'm so proud of you. When we have to face deployment as a family--it makes it so much stronger. You learn so much about yourself and how strong you are. It looks like you've discovered these already. Hold your head up high and be proud of your husband. All these difficulties you are facing now will get better with time. I know exactly what you are going through. I had to find a routine for myself to make life easier. If you ever need anything just let me know.
ReplyDeleteSara Darlin,
ReplyDeleteYou have always had all the wonderful strengths and qualities in you I knew that the moment i met you! You just needed an oppurtunity to demonstrate those qualities! and let me tell you baby, you have rose to the occasion! I'm so proud of you my love! i've never known anyone that is as amazing as you are! you fill my empty days with light and love and give me strength to get through and overcome this awful place! Words can't express what you mean to me and the love that i have for you will last till iternity!
Love always and forever,
Stephen Lee
You poor thing. I can't imagine what your going through. If you ever need me I am here for you. Just as you were for me during my sad times. Like you told me then; by phone, by email, by text or in person whenever you need me I'm here. And when you don't need me at all and want to be alone, I get that too. I love you and we all appreciate the sacrifices Stephen and your family are making for us.
ReplyDeleteLove
Jaime